At one point she asks me to clean her toenails out with a key, because she likes when her boyfriend does that. She's completely wasted by this time (started drinking while waiting in the car for me to pay for the room), and spewing utterly incoherent nonsense. So here I am, in this hotel room, with a female janitor whose face eerily resembles Gene Simmons. My place was out of the question because of roommates, so I paid for a cheap hotel (around $40), and a 12 pack of Coors light. Upon picking her up, she offered a blow job but said that we couldn't go back to her place because she lived with her ex who was cheating on her (made no sense to me either, but I didn't really care). We agreed that I would pick her up, since she didn't have a car. She responded back immediately with her phone number, and from the moment she started speaking I knew that she was a mess.
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I looked for the most casual post that I could find (it very simply stated that she wanted to go out for drinks), and that's who I emailed. My best option was a hail mary on the general romance section.
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For those who don't know, you don't search the “casual encounters” section on Craigslist when looking for casual sex because it is full of scammers. I did what any not-at-all-self-respecting forever alone would have done – I hit Craigslist. I got hammered while I was out drinking with buddies, and decided that I was getting laid that night. It's been about 7 months since I've had sex, and the dating scene wasn't going as expected. The next four years in band, my reputation was solidified as “man-whore”. On the bus ride home, I felt like a fucking champion. When I came out of that room, everyone who was still awake cheered for me. She pushed me down on a pile of coats and had her way with me. At around 3:00 in the morning, I get dragged into the coat room by the piccolo section leader. The night wears on as I start to “meet” new girls and each attempt is getting more aggressive. Trombone section leader comes back and I was expecting a cat fight. She starts making out with me and puts my hand down her pants and starts feeling up my junk. (Trombone section leader) After a while, she starts to lead me upstairs, but I am intercepted by the Piccolo section leader who brings me to the dance floor. Bottom line, I was the target, and everyone in my band knew it.įirst girl comes on to me downstairs and we start making out. Wins what you say? Alpha-female status? I don't fucking know. The goal? The first person in his pants, wins. The senior lady section leader of the other band pick a rookie member of my band as their target. Luckily, one of the seniors from my band saw what was going on and gave me the rundown:
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I was a SAP at that point and I only had a few flings in college so far, so I had no fucking clue how to handle this situation. I notice a group of girls crowded in the corner and they would sometimes glance over in my direction and turn back to the circle giggling. I start drinking and chilling with friends, meeting new people and shit. There's at least 300 people crammed in that band house after the game. Each year, the other school's band would visit for the football game and they would throw a party for the visiting band. Now the football team and fans were always at each other's throats, but the bands were tight. I was a freshman in college on my first marching band trip to our rival school.
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Successfully completed the coveted hat trick while I was in college – 3 females, 24 hours, all separate occasions I was in a lofted bed across from his bed: we reached across the gap to pound it but it was too far, so we ended up touching fingers like God and Adam at the Sistine Chapel.
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In college my roommate and I once f*cked a pair of girls at the same time. The evil grin on my friends face, haunting… Blew his load all over some other guys back. Not me, but witnessed it- my friend got a handjob on a crowded club dance floor that was pretty dark. Hooked up with three chicks one halloween night … dressed as an oompa loompa! Here are 20 of the sluttiest things reddit users are willing to admit to. Our team has had some random escapades on our journeys around the world, but some of these claims are downright hilarious. Through College Candy we caught wind of this thread on Reddit.
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Had a few slutty encounters lately? This is oftentimes an uncomfortable discussion topic, resulting in premature breakups when the less promiscuous partner catches wind of your extensive sexual history.